Greetings from the Eastern Front

So after a longish hiatus, I’m returning to my blogoranting. Settle down kids, I know you missed me. Now shut up and let me pour my dead heart out.

I’m now located in (M) New Brunswick, my hometown. Coming back, I remember I left here for a reason. Nothing much to do, nothing much to see, and 1000 kms away from any real action. My roots may be here, but my heart is somewhere in a strip club in Montreal (right next to my wallet).  I’m trying to remain positive about my shift in direction, but you have to remember it wasn’t voluntary. I was stuck in Montreal with no money and no opportunities, one bill away from joining the screaming hobo who lived across from my apartment. I have a fancy-pants arts degree that is worth about three wooden nickels in the current job market. My job experience is all over the map, so I technically qualify for everything, but don’t have enough experience for anyone. 

And so I transfer my hunt into another province, somewhere where candidates don’t fight each other with broken pool cues just to get a second interview. No, here my credentials mean something, and my skills might be worth a damn. So in that respect, I’m probably better off here. Plus, not being a pur laine Quebecois in Quebec is a quick way to get booted off the market. Here, I’m a local, and I know the ropes.

As you can see, I’m trying to justify this as best I can. It’s hard, I’ll admit. I left behind a life of fun and non-stop entertainment (not to mention gorgeous women) to return to a quiet province where fatalities due to moose encounters outnumber gang hits by a fair margin. But I do look forward to the scenery, the rolling backroads, the lack of police patrols… Living in the Maritimes usually means you have to make your own entertainment that doesn’t involve paying a scantily clad college girl to grind your crotch.

I thought all would go smoothly in the transition, but a lot is getting affected negatively. My relationship is strained, my friends here are already sick of seeing me, and my friends from Montreal are pissed that I left them behind. Meanwhile I’m continuing the job search, which is a bit tougher because opportunities that don’t involve manning a cashier or hammering nails into something are a bit thin on the ground here.

So here I am, bored,  still unemployed, and sorry to leave my Montreal life behind.  I hope I have done my part in brightening up your day.

I.A.

Goodbye Montreal, Hello Maritimes

Ah dear readers, the economic crisis has hit yours truly as much as any other middle class BA grad. After six long goddamned months of unemployment in lovely Montreal, I cannot find a suitable (ie, paying) outlet for my talents and vast bile-spewing intellect. No, the market here is tanking fast, jobs are getting scarcer, and the competition for positions is fierce. So I'm off to my homeland of New Brunswick, the land of cheap real estate, lobster, Acadian flags, and so-called defeatist attitudes. My lack of posts in the last week are due to my running around getting things organized for my move, and squaring up my debts before my friends start thinking about breaking my legs. 

The next time you hear from me, I will be in an undisclosed location somewhere in the wilds of New Brunswick, preparing for the zombie holocaust. Erm, I mean I will be living somewhere in NB trying to eke out a living doing whatever it is that I do. I'm feeling positive about a change, because I've been shat on for a while here in Montreal, so it's time for a new start somewhere else, where my credentials actually have value and I don't have to mud-wrestle every BA this side of Toronto to get a job serving donuts. I'll miss you, Montreal, but you aren't doing anything to help me stay.

I.A.